Only 3 more days!!

I realize it's good to actually have some patience in life, but I really don't think I have any....Paducah is about 3 days away and I can hardly contain myself. I really need this weekend for several reasons. First off, I am still a little bummed about my exit exam grade--I have never 'failed' anything until now so it's a big hit to my confidence. Second, the next exit exam is scheduled for Wednesday of next week--right after our neurological test. I really dislike back to back exams, but I will manage. And last but not least, I just NEED some SSQ to wake me up inside! All this 'last semester nursing school mumbo jumbo' has totally fried my brain and my heart. I have never felt so ADD in my life! Four hundred things need to be done by a particular date and it's like I don't even know where to start! Boy, I really need Saturday!

And now it's over

This time last week I was jumping for joy over the week of freedom I was about to endure. I can sleep late!! Oh how wonderful it was to be able to sleep past sunrise! I never knew how relaxing it was to sleep until 7:00! Unfortunately, now that my internal clock is TOTALLY messed up, I have to start waking at the crack of dawn again! I haven't been to bed before 2 AM in a week now, but I have got to start getting back into the swing of things--you know, in my REM cycle by 10:00. I have enjoyed the break, but as all breaks are, this one was not long enough. I did accomplish a few things on the break--I started walking again and I feel great! I have been walking about 3 miles a day--sometimes more. I have completely neglected my studies this past week...I mean really...who wants to spend their ONLY break studying?!?! I will probably pay for that laziness later, but for now I am enjoying the last day of spring break! I am excited about this weekend--Ernie Haase and Signature Sound concert in Paducah, Kentucky! Although it hasn't been THAT long since I saw the guys, I still suffer from withdrawals after about 2 weeks. I am also looking forward to meeting a new message board friend--I love that MB. I have met so many great people over the past year or so. Ahh...I am so anxious!!! I need to calm down--I think I am going for my walk now!

So THAT'S what a pretty day looks like!

I have not seen a sunny, pretty day in quite some time now. I am either stuck in a hospital from before the sun rises until after the sun sets, or I am trying to study something completely boring and miserable! I had a rough morning....failed my exit exam by about 5 questions, so the pretty day was not accepted as such until after I calmed down some. I decided to take a few pictures of the pretty day--just to remember that no matter what happens in my 'personal' life, God is still great!


Friend to the bees and other creepy crawlers! One bee in particular kept trying to get rid of me, but I stood my ground--but not for long....I hate bugs!

This is the only little purple flower in the entire flower pot! This little trooper has survived some frigid temperatures!

It was so pretty outside, I just had to let Jazz get a breath of fresh air. He has become an 'inside' kitty over these past few months (he was not thrilled with that change, but he is learning) so I was a good mom--let the kitty play in the sunshine for a while!

I planted this tree when I was in the 4th grade and now it towers over our swimming pool and is a good bit taller than our house! It's endured many a tornado warning and even became the home to a little nest of birds for a while. I can't believe how big it has gotten!

A walk down memory lane

Today I went back to the church of my childhood deep in the heart of Weogufka, Alabama. I haven’t set foot in this little white church in probably 15 years. As I walked into the church this morning, several faces looked familiar—but names escaped me. Several people asked,

“And what is your name sweetheart?”
My reply struck deep into their memories—
“Little Jennifer! My word darling, last time I saw you, you were this high…how’s your mama doing, are you married yet darling?”

With all the introductions complete, I found my seat closer to the front of the church and began to look around. I can remember going with my mom every Sunday and sitting on that back pew, singing those good old gospel hymns that are still at the root of my soul today. I remember Papaw, Grady, Glory, Sherry, and Mamaw singing together—Grady playing that old piano the way no one else could. It’s been such a long time since I laid eyes on that ‘rocking piano’. Everything looked the same, smelled the same, I think the same flowers were on display 15 years ago. I remember my Papaw leading the song service and Sherry playing the piano, I remember the duets that Grady and Glory used to sing—I love those songs. I remember my Mamaw keeping those tissues and cough drops tucked away safely in her Bible, I remember going to ‘children’s church’ and making ants on a log with Mr. and Mrs. Benson, I remember painting during Sunday School and messing up my lacey dress, I remember playing Simon Says on the bricks out back, I remember sitting on the church sign, I remember the smell of Sunday supper at Mamaw’s. I miss it so much, but things are not the same anymore- people have gone on to be with the Lord, people have grown older and unable to “come and do” like they once could. Seeing all those familiar, yet older faces made me realize how much I missed when I was younger. There are some things that just make you feel at ease, make you feel at home, make you feel like a child again—this was one of those times. Grady and Glory did sing a song together today…tears rolled down my cheeks when I saw that old piano begin to rock as Grady tapped his foot. So many good memories lingered through my mind today. I wish I could go back to those times—I wouldn’t take them for granted…

What happened?

I really don't know how I let my blog get into the shape that it's in! One might speculate that nursing school is getting all of my attention, but I think it's because I have somehow wandered into a spiritual valley and don't quite know how to make it back out. Nursing school is taking up a lot of my time, but I still need to have time for God. He gave his son for me--a sinner like me--so that I would have everlasting life. "The least I can do is make time for Him"...it's easy to get into that mindset, but I don't think that's a very good place to be. I don't think I should have to 'make' time for God. ALL my time should be for God first and foremost, then everything else will fall into place. I am struggling with some "inner demons" and I can't seem to get away from the things that bind me to this particular valley. A very good friend has helped me out and I feel her words are wise and true...

Girl, everyone walking this earth has 'bumps', some big ones too! You must forgive yourself. That clears the path for God to truly work in your life, pruning the branches until you begin the fruit He wants you to be, ..." I am the vine, you are the branches..." You can never out love the Lord, yet as humans we can put up roadblocks through our own need to milk our hurt and disappointment in ourselves...don't go there! God would rather you spend that emotional energy praising Him, not pitying yourself~Think about it!

I am guilty of putting up that roadblock and it's a hard one to take down, but I keep remembering a verse from my favorite Doug Anderson song--

" If your lost and confused wondering where it will end,
There’s a way you can know that wherever you’ve been,
You can make your way home and be forgiven again!"

I love knowing that no matter what happens--GOD LOVES US AND FORGIVES US FOR OUR SINS! All we have to do is ask and believe, pray about it, and truly repent. God's love knows no boundaries!